Scott, are you still there? You always knew how to push my buttons (even though I only have one). We used to spend so much time together at home listening to music, surfing the Internet, watching movies, and even working on an occasional e-mail or two. I really thought we had something special. You used to take me to work everyday and you admired my elegance and grace. We were together every evening and every weekend. It was so nice when you introduced me to your Sprint MiFi…it made me feel complete. Suddenly, I felt so free, so empowered to really explore the world even when away from the home or office.
You used to accept my shortcomings; you understood my inflexibility. Now I’m worried that you’ve found someone else. Someone who let’s you be yourself and doesn’t force you to conform. Sure your iTunes account works just the same now with your new found love and you can pause or skip songs even while working on e-mail, but you have to admit multitasking is way too futuristic and not for us. I mean, this isn’t the Year 3000! My virtual keyboard that takes up two-thirds of my small screen is way better than any sleek, physical keyboard, right? And hey, cut and paste is over-rated.
As an application developer, I know you appreciate my proprietary software development kit. Admit it, you loved paying $2k for a Mac just so you could write programs for me in a complicated programming language.
Please give me one more chance. I promise I will change. I promise you cut and paste…and it will only cost you another $9.99.